Memories of a childhood

Sometimes, I feel like the last 35 years of my life, I have been sleeping. I grew up in a small town. The town is in the middle of nowhere. Town has always been a  rather quiet place. I have never been a child who wanted a lot of attention. I love when I can be alone in my own world.

As a child, I used to go to the forest, walking and wondering around. I loved the fresh air and hugging trees just to feel their power. I felt the sound of shaking leaves were songs of trees. This was a  way of communication with our world. I used to sit by the roots under a huge tree picking up soil in my hands. I love when the soil runs through my hands and falls back to the ground.

I feel like everything in nature has a hidden meaning. I believe trees are the wise elders of the world sharing their wisdom with us. The birds are like angelic creatures to me. Their sound makes me feel amazed and filled up with joy. The wild animals are like the guardians of the earth.

It always brings a smile to my face when I think of how sensitive I am. When I was a child I was an outsider. I never had many friends. I felt like I  was not cool enough. Like I was not smart enough. I just did not fit in. My school age is a time I would like to replace and erase. Growing into a young man, without a father, was the cruelest time for me.

I used to spend 2 months a year at my Granny’s house. If I lived in a middle of nowhere, she lived at the end of the world. My Granny lived in a village where houses could be counted on two hands. Granny was the only one  I loved in our family. She was old already when I met her. She was kind and loved me no matter what.

I do not remember if she was Catholic, or not, but I remember she used to take me to  Church. Sitting next to her in church, her singing was amazing. The reason I loved her so much was her confidence and honest attitude. She never behaved nicely because she was expected to. She behaved nicely because she was a nice person.

One evening she took me to Church. We sat there looking at all the angelic statues in the moonlight. I could see her smiles from a distance. I believe Church made her relax and happy. She was the one who gave me the passion for angels.

One day she was working outside in her garden. I came up to her and she shared a story with me. She was gently caring for the flowers in her garden and harvesting them like they were so important. Sometimes I was a little grumpy and stood in her flowers. She explained to me that flowers are alive and we should approach them with respect. I was told that angels sing to those flowers to make them grow. There would not be life without caring angels, she used to tell me.

When I was around ten years old, I was bullied a lot at school. Classmates where picking on me all the time, laughing at me. It came to a point when I was sitting on a bridge and wanted to jump down. I did and I broke my leg. I never told my Mother how it happened but my Granny knew. She was the only person I trusted and loved.

She took me to a Church and asked me If I saw all the angels around. She pointed some of the statues out to me and asked if I ever felt alone. That  I should imagine the angels coming alive. She encouraged me to imagine how they fly around me with joy. Soon after she died.

She was the one who gave me the spiritual introduction to angels. I know I have not fully understood her, but, it has stayed hidden deep in my mind until now.

After she died I had to get on with my life. I forgot all about angels, all about imagination and meditation about them. I started to work and join the life of working slaves without thinking.

Mostly work got me through the day.

A few years ago,  I met a person. Someone who talked to me about angels, spirit guides, and the universe. I could listen to this person for hours, I never got bored or fed up. My progress was slow. It took me a great deal of time to get where I am now.

So to finish this post, I would like to thank everyone who has helped people like me to open my eyes and mind to see things which stay mostly hidden…..